


Winter Roses

by Matrakcsi



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/F, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12456728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matrakcsi/pseuds/Matrakcsi
Summary: The story of a friendship between two women which maybe will be something else in time...





	1. Chapter 1

It was that part of the year when the streets are blank and empty, the trees had lost all the beautiful and colorful leaves, the temperature is getting lower and lower. Yes, it was almost December. To be more precise, it was an indeed cloudy and misty morning in November. It really seemed like the start of a very ordinary day, but sometimes the most unexpected things can happen in days like this.

Mrs. Crawley was eating her light breakfast meanwhile thinking about the day that lied before her. "The only remarkable programme will be the dinner at Downton." She murmured to herself as she took a spoon of sugar to her coffee. Most of her days were spent with reading, visiting Violet or her beloved grandson, or going to the hospital and trying to do some useful work there. How dull, she thought, doing all the same. But then she shook her head.She must be strong, she must think positively. She had Mary, she had George, the rest of the Crawley family. (But not Matthew!) And also, she had Richard Clarkson. Who indeed helped her a lot, she was so grateful to him. But at the same time she felt so bad about the doctor, she couldn't give him what he needed, she could never fall in love with him nor marry him. How much she wished it was different, and God knows she was trying so hard! She knew she needed something to get over her depression, and a marriage was something like that. If only she could fall in love with the doctor!  
This is how Isobel's days started, and the rest of the day passed quickly. In the last few months she played more attention to her medical readings, and she started to refresh her knowledge of the Latin language. Back when she was married to Reggie she decided to learn this ancient language, but as years had passed she used it less and less, and some weeks ago when she tried to read a Latin medical book she barely understood it. And now it was a good way to not to think of her pain and focus on something else for an hour or two.

When she arrived at Downton she still wasn't very much in a good mood, and she was so quiet through the whole dinner time. Tom, who was sitting next to her realized that and tried to engage her in the conversation but it was a failure, but Isobel was so touched by the young man's affection.  
\- My dear, I appreciate your kindness, but today I'm not in a very good mood as you can see, it's just the usual, you know... - Isobel said quietly to Tom, who accepted it with a small nod, and then he squeezed lightly Isobel's hand.  
After the dinner, she didn't feel the need of her company so she said goodbye to everyone and then left. While she was on her way out, she literally bumped into Lady Edith, who was reading something so didn't realize the other woman coming. Edith's book felt to the floor and Isobel was the first to bend and pick it up. "Metamorphosis by Vergil" she read out loud the title. She was so surprised, first to see Edith here, and secondly finding her reading a book like this. But the only thing she said was"Oh!".  
\- Yes, I know. I'm not the kind of woman you would expect reading something like this. - smiled Edith.  
\- Well, to say the truth I'm surprised of the fact that you are reading it in Latin. I didn't know you were interested in ancient languages or in Vergil. - She didn't even know anything about Edith, except that she was the one in the family who was interested the most in literature. She didn't know why but she had never really spoken with Edith, never had a deep conversation with her.  
\- I've never really studied it properly, with a teacher I mean. I'm trying to educate myself by myself, but it can be pretty hard sometimes, in particular, if it's about an ancient language.  
\- Maybe I could help you, my Latin is far from perfect but I think I would be able to teach you something.  
\- It would be really kind of you cousin Isobel! - Edith seemed really excited about Isobel's offer.  
\- I could come tomorrow if you are free, maybe around ten o'clock in the morning?  
\- Perfect! And thank you again for your help!  
\- It's my pleasure, but now if you excuse, I would go, it's getting late.  
-Of course, you see tomorrow then! - Said Edith with a very lovely smile on her face, and with gratefulness in her eyes.Isobel then got into her car. She felt the mixture of excitement and happiness. At last something new! And how lovely that she was doing it with Edith. They had never been close to each other, but now they got a chance. Isobel wondered what the next day would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

The following day they met, as they planned. They decided to sit in the library, they sat in front each other. The table between them was covered with books Isobel had brought, and there were tea and some biscuits. At first, of course, both women felt a little embarrassed, didn't know how to act.  
\- So -Isobel broke the silence - I thought that we could start with you reading out load some sentences of this book. -Isobel handed Edith a beautiful book - Then translate it into English, and with that procedure, I will see that how good your Latin is.  
\- All right. - Edith said and then she started to read the first sentence she saw. Her voice was thick, it sounded so unfamiliar to her. She knew that Isobel was looking at her and paying attention to every detail of her and how she was reading those words. It made her feel awkward. She could read out loud in front of a crowd, yes she had courage, but somehow Isobel, her presence made her feel weak. She didn't know whether the other woman liked her, or not. She knew that Isobel adored Mary, she knew she had loved very deeply Sybil, but what about her? "I shouldn't be doing this. She will dislike me, just like Mary does. She is much like her. She is so different from me." A voice in her head said it. She stopped. It felt horrible.  
\- Why did you stop my dear? You were doing great! - Isobel smiled at her very kindly, and it made Edith feel a little confident. As she looked at Isobel she only could see kindness in her eyes, nothing more.  
\- Do you think so? - Isobel nodded and Edith continued. And this time she read louder. Outside the rain started to pour. Maybe an hour had passed, they were doing so great, Edith had forgotten about her fears, and it just felt so nice to sit there and study with Isobel. As they talked it seemed like they had more in common then they had thought. Both women adored literature, so it was really hard for them to focus on the Latin and not to discuss any of their favorite writers. Edith was surprised to see that the other woman was well versed in literature, she had always believed that Isobel was only interested in medical and botanical things. So it was a very pleasing surprise.  
\- I think we should finish our class for today. - Isobel said - Edith, you were doing so great. To say the truth you know the Latin language more than I've expected! I think we really should continue our classes, it's clear you have talent for language learning.  
\- Thank you - Edith blushed - it would be really great to continue my studies with you as my teacher. You make learning so much easier. - Yes, it was true, Isobel was very calm and patient with Edith, she indeed enjoyed teaching her.  
\- And now we have finished our class, will you please explain to me what you have said earlier about Lord Byron? It sounded quite interesting. - With these words, she got up and sat next to Edith.  
\- I think it would be easier and more convenient to sit closer while talking about such things if you don't mind.  
\- No please, sit here. And of course, I will, you know Byron is one of my most beloved poets. But after that, you must tell me more about those French writers you mentioned. - And they started a very long and interesting conversation. It was so refreshing for both. After another hour Cora came in, she was very sorry to interrupt them but she needed Edith.  
\- Just a moment Mama, and I will go. - Edith was a little disappointed to finish her conversation with Isobel, she wanted to ask so many other things of Isobel.  
\- Well dear, what about the other meeting tomorrow?  
\- I'm so sorry to say that but I don't believe I will be free in the next few days. But what about the next week? It would be really nice to continue this lovely conversation, and the Latin.  
\- Of course, of course ... - Isobel seemed a little disappointed - Then, see you next week.And don't forget to practice. I will leave this book here, I think it will be perfect for you. - As they got up and walked to the door Isobel noticed that Edith's white skin was rather pink in her cheeks. She looked so beautiful.  
\- Your cheeks are so rosy, you look very lovely like this.  
\- Oh - Edith's cheeks went rosier - I the reason of this my excitement... I mean that the topics we were talking about... I can be so passionate if it comes to literature, and if I get excited my cheeks go red. I hate it, but I can't control it.  
\- I think its nice - Isobel said quietly - So farewell now, and see you soon.  
\- Goodbye Cousin Isobel, and thank you again!

That night before going bed, Isobel was thinking about Edith. "How strange," she thought "that all these years we haven't really been close to each other. I have always felt sympathy to Sybil, she was so like me; so committed and so helpful to everyone. Full of love and strength. And then there is Mary" she climbed into her bed "Of course I love her, she is the mother of my beloved George, she is like a daughter to me. But Edith... She is so unique, so different from them, even her appearance is not the same. Her golden-brown hair, her beautiful eyes... And now this, her interest in literature. Someway she makes me think of Sappho." After she picked up a book and read some pages. That night she dreamed of a gracious woman with golden-brown hair, smiling and dancing with her. It felt so good, like heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the story is going very slowly, but in the next chapter will be more action and will be more interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

When Isobel woke up, she felt so dizzy and couldn't remember her dream, but she knew it had been something really beautiful. But after she forgot all about it, other thoughts came into her mind. It was shortly after when a gentleman came and was asking about Matthew. He was someone Matthew had met at the war and now wanted to speak with him. So Isobel had to explain that Mr. Crawley, her son, was no longer here...   
No longer alive. The man seemed pretty embarrassed and then left. Isobel became very depressed after that, she couldn't even enjoy the sunshine (because it was rather a beautiful day) and stayed all day in the house.

Someone knocked at the door. Isobel was still sitting and drinking her tea when Lady Edith came in. She immediately realized that something was wrong with Isobel, but didn't know how to react. Maybe she was wrong to come in.  
\- I'm sorry to interrupt you in this lovely day - she sat in an armchair, and was holding a nice little package in her hands - but I had something to do in the town and I thought I could stop by.

\- No, no, I'm really happy to see you. - Isobel tried to smile but the pain in her eyes didn't disappear.

\- Maybe we could continue our conversation.

\- Yes... It would be lovely, but today I don't feel perfectly well...

\- Oh, I can go if you would rather be alone. - Edith seemed confused, and she stood up. - Maybe an other time would be better.

\- So goodbye cousin Isobel - Isobel didn't seem to hear, she turned her face away from Edith. She couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

As Edith was on her way out, she heard a very quiet sobbing. She didn't know what to do, she wanted to comfort Isobel but didn't know how. "Leave or not? No, I can't leave her like that, even if she doesn't want my company. I need to stay." She turned, and went back to Isobel, sat next to her, and gently touched the other woman's shoulder.

\- Please... Let me help you... What's wrong? Matthew? - And when Isobel heard her beloved son's name i started to cry harder. She looked at Edith. Isobel's face was covered with tears, and then moved closer and nodded. Edith suddenly hugged her, and Isobel rested her head on Edith's shoulder. It felt so nice, it felt so safe. Edith was so young, full of life and energy, and it made her feel more strong. And for a moment she felt the way she used to feel when she had been upset and Reggie had comforted her. This thought frightened her. It was Edith and not Reggie how can she feel the same way? So she pulled back, took her handkerchief and dried her tears.

\- Oh dear child, thank you... And I'm so sorry you have to see me like that. You know, even if months have passed, I still miss him greatly, and some days are harder than the others. Some days I just can't control my emotions, and depression doesn't leave me alone. - Edith looked at Isobel with a light smile, didn't know what to say. She wanted very much to help her. But how?

\- I know. This is exactly how Mary's acting, even though I can see she is doing better and better every day.

\- She has to. She has her whole life ahead of her. I want her to be happy, I want her to feel love for a man again, she must be strong.

\- Yes... - Edith suddenly remembered the little package that was lying next to her - Oh, I nearly forget it. This is for you. - Isobel was so surprised.

\- Open it! - Edith smiled.

It was so beautifully wrapped that Isobel didn't want to ruin it. But after all, she opened it. It was a book. The collected poems of Lord Byron.

\- I remembered that you said earlier that you had lost your copy of his poems, so I thought you would be pleased to have a copy again. It seemed to me you really adore his poems, what I can really understand. His poems are pure gold.

\- Oh dear - Isobel was wordless, her eyes were filled with tears again. But this time it was tears of joy and not sorrow. - I can't express how happy you made me now! Can't you stay a little longer, please? Now we really should speak a little of literature. The last time I didn't have time to tell you that... - And so she did stay, and Isobel become more and more radiant as they spoke, she nearly forgets all about her pain. Edith had a wonderful effect on her.

 

Xxx

 

Some weeks had passed, it was already December. The two women were walking in the park of Downton. Even it was December they wanted to take a little walk, it was so refreshing being in the nature. They grew closer in the past few weeks, they were now not only discuss literature, but also personal topics. The Crawley family was very surprised to see the two different aged female enjoying each other's company this much. But everybody found it a good thing, Isobel needed someone, and since their first Latin class Isobel seemed to grow back her energy, sometimes they even could see her smiling. And it was so obvious that Edith adored the older woman, she talked about her with so much love and respect. She seemed like a little girl worshipping her teacher...

\- I want to tell you something Isobel... - Edith said in an excited voice - do you remember when I mentioned that I was working on a novel?

\- Yes, of course, I do! And I'm still waiting to read it, my dear. You promised me you would hand your writing.

\- Well... Maybe soon you can read your own copy of it... - Edith smiled mysteriously.

\- You mean - Isobel stopped - you mean they are going to publish it?

\- Yes! Today I've got a letter from the editor of one of the Publisher Companies. - Both women seemed very happy and excited. Isobel squeezed Edith's hands, and then came a very exquisite moment. They were standing close, and suddenly Edith leaned even closer and gently kissed Isobel's soft lips. Isobel closed her eyes.   
It was like a gift she just received, the most beautiful gift someone could get. The whole world disappeared around them. But only for a moment ( for an indeed perfect moment), Edith stepped back, they looked at each other but didn't say anything. Words couldn't express what they had shared.   
They acted like nothing had happened, tried to continue their conversation, but both women felt that it was more than an act between two friends or cousins. But what was it then? None of them could name it, it was so new so strange but familiar at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

It was Christmas time and Downton was full of people, the Crawleys had many guests this time. It was after dinner, everybody was talking, and having a very good time, even Mary had some nice chat with rather good-looking gentlemen. So everybody was enjoying himself, everybody, except Edith. She was sitting alone with a glass in her hands, in one of the sofas. She looked rather disappointed, at first Cora tried to speak with her and involve her in one of the conversations, but she refused, saying that she had a headache.   
But it wasn't true. And now she was sitting and looking into the glass in her hands. "Just 5 more minutes and I'll leave. I can spend this time better, reading or something. I'm.not her little puppet, waiting for her. I'm such a fool."   
Yes, she was waiting for Isobel, who had promised to come tonight but was nowhere now. But as Edith was thinking about it the door opened, and Isobel came in. How majestic and perfect this moment was. Edith's heart nearly stopped as Isobel walked in. She forgot everything, and now sadness was replaced with the clearest joy in her heart. " I would die for her." She thought, and quickly became embarrassed by her improper thought. But she, Mrs. Crawley, was indeed beautiful this night. Wearing a fantastic grey dress with long gloves, and what made her look more pretty was the light smile on her face.  
As she welcomed Violet and Robert with a little excuse she immediately searched for Edith and sat down on the sofa, in which Edith was sitting.

\- You came. - Edith said in a light voice. Her hazel eyes were so bright, obviously full of happiness.

\- Didn't I promise you, my dear? There were some problems with the car, and I was hesitating which dress would be the best choice for today, so this is why I'm late.

\- Yes... - Edith tried to hide her happiness caused by the other woman - This dress looks quite lovely on you.  
And so they began their conversation, and it seemed all the other people disappeared, nothing mattered to them, only the other's company. But they didn't realize that yet, all their feelings weren't clear for them.

At the same time, Violet walked towards to Cora.

\- Can I have a word with you?

\- Yes and please excuse me. - Cora said to the woman she was speaking with before Violet interrupted her.

\- What's the matter?

\- Don't you think my dear that our lovebirds have gone a bit too far? - And with these words, she looked at Edith and Isobel, who was laughing at something at the moment. - Edith is a young woman, and even if I admit she helped Isobel very much to get over her pain and loss, I still think it's not the way she has to live. She is spending her time like a nun, studying and reading, and when she comes out her room she is only talking to Isobel. She became quite obsessed with her, don't you find?

\- Well... - Cora looked at them I can admit that she adores her. Like a pupil his master. But maybe you are right, Edith is young, and still, have her whole life before her.

\- I'm so glad you can see it too. So I guess you'll agree to send her to London, to Rosamund of course.

\- Yes, I think it would have a good effect on her, meeting new people. - But there was some hesitation in Cora's voice.

\- All right then, I will tell her tomorrow.

Some time had passed when Isobel stood up.

\- Well, I think it's time for me to go home. You know my dear I'm not as young as you and need a bit more rest.

\- Of course, but let me walk with you to the your car.

It was so dark outside, and it seemed a storm was coming. There was a lighting in far away in the sky.

\- I think you should go back if you don't want to catch a cold.

\- Right - Edith looked at the other woman - you always know what is the best for me. - It just came out so naturally.

\- I think you have drunken a bit too much of that wine, my love. - Edith's cheeks were pinky and Isobel touched with the back of her hand Edith's face and then her hand touched her ear and then traveled down the line of Edith's neck.

\- You need to get some rest, Edith. Have nice dreams! - And Isobel got into the car.  
Edith was astonished, that she was just standing there and looking at Isobel's car leaving. "She called me her love." But soon after was disturbed by a voice behind her.

\- Oh, my dear, I'm so happy to find you here. - it was her grandmother - Would you mind coming to me for a tea tomorrow? We need to discuss something.

\- Of course. - Edith was still mesmerized by the scene she shared with Isobel.

\- So see you tomorrow, good night!

\- Good night!

After that Edith went back to the house, saying goodnight to everyone, and then returning to her room. She changed to her nightgown, brushed her hair and got into bed, but couldn't sleep. The memories of tonight were chasing her. The touch of Isobel's hand on her cheeks, Isobel's voice calling Edith her love... " This night, I'll never forget" She turned and now was facing the ceiling. " She is... " But she couldn't continue. What is she? Amazing, clever, beautiful? And what is she to her? Questions she couldn't answer. And then the other memory came into her mind. The sweetest of all, when she kissed her, the taste of her lips. She even could remember that the other woman didn't resist. What was the meaning of that? First, she thought it was the act of joy (because of her newly published book) but later she realized it was something more. Something she had been wanted to do for so long...

 

Xxx

 

The next day has been promised, she went to Violet for tea. It was raining, and she had a bad feeling about this, couldn't imagine what was that serious matter her grandma wanted to talk about. " Maybe my book." But she knew there was a very little chance Violet have already found it out. She decided to stop worrying, maybe it's all.about some good news...

\- What? To London? But grandma, I'm an adult, you don't have to take care of me like that.

\- Yes, you are my dear, but a quite young one, who needs to stay in touch with humanity, with other people. How do you wish to meet your new husband when you don't even leave Downton? - Edith blushed. 

\- I've talked to Rosamund and she is happy to have you there. I told her that you will arrive tomorrow.

\- Tomorrow?

\- Yes. Do you have something to arrange?

\- No, just...

\- Saying goodbye to Isobel? I think you can simply write to her. - How could Edith protest? There was no chance for her winning this argument.

 

The next morning when Isobel went to get some breakfast a little note was waiting for her. " I've left for London. Don't know when will I return. Edith" That was all. "Maybe it's the best. " Isobel thought. " The best for both of us." And she tore the paper.


	5. Chapter 5

Days had passed and then days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Edith was in London for a month now.   
At the beginning, she kept sending letters to Isobel, and Isobel loved that her young friend stayed in touch with her. But after a time, she stopped writing to Isobel regularly, and when she did, she only wrote some words. "I'm all right. London is so amazing at this time the year." And nonsense like that, and after a time she stopped sending these little notes. Isobel tried to be happy cause it seemed that Edith was having quite a good time. But even when she tried her best, she still missed her. She knew it's the best for Edith, being around young and interesting people, dancing and doing stuff she couldn't do with her. But still, she missed her greatly, there was not a day she didn't think of her, didn't miss her. Sometimes she just reread all the old letters of Edith. "Oh, this is not right." She thought one evening when she was sitting in a chair at her vanity table.   
She was thinking of writing to Edith, telling her how much she misses her and their lovely conversations. "Come to your sense! This is how it should be. Do you really think she will always be yours?" She started to brush hair and looking at her face in the mirror. So many thoughts. She had a war in her mind. " To be selfish or not to be?" She knew that she still had a chance to get back Edith, but at the same time it was clear that Edith's place is not with her. " Look at yourself, you are so old." A voice in her head told it to her. " Look at all the wrinkles in your face, look at the grey hairs you have."   
She never felt ashamed because of her look, and her age, never - until now. But why feeling ashamed now? Age doesn't matter between friends... "And I still can have her friendship, even if she makes new friends. So why to be so upset?" But deep down, she knew the reason of her anxiety; she knew very well that one day Edith would have a husband... " She needs a husband, my love, an old woman's love, is not enough for a young lady... I can't give her what a man can. " A scene came into her mind. The other day when she was walking in the town, she saw two women, walking side by side, really close, holding hands, and for a moment they seemed like a real couple. She had heard of things like this before, but was that a real-life thing? Two women acting like the couple? She shivered. No, it's so strange and wrong. " No, I must stop thinking or I'll get mad. " She didn't want to lose an other person she loved so much.

 

xxx

 

The next day she decided to spend her day in the hospital, doing something to get off her mind of Edith. She knocked on the door of the doctor's office, just wanted to talk about one of the patients and about a new cure she had read in a medical magazine.

\- Come in. - she heard the doctor's voice.

\- I'm sorry for interrupting you at your work, I just wanted to... - but Richard stopped her.

\- Iso...Mrs. Crawley, you look so pale! Is everything all right? - He seemed to be very worried about her.

\- Yes, I just feel a bit depressed, but it's not worth to talk about it.

\- No, please, before we discuss what you want, come and sit here. And I think this - He pulled out a bottle of Scottish whiskey. - will also help you. - He poured some of the strong liquid into two glasses. First Isobel didn't want to accept it, but then she changed her mind. Why not? The doctor had always been so nice to her, and she certainly liked him.

-So, what is it? You can tell me.

\- I'm just a bit lonely, missing... - she almost said Edith's name - Matthew. Sometimes it's hard to believe that he is dead. - And it was true, apart from Edith, she still missed her son, and since Edith had left she had more time to think... And to think about Matthew. It seemed that when Edith had gone to London, all of Isobel's remained joy and happiness were gone too.

-I know. - his voice was very gentle - But you still have the Crawleys and your little grandson. You must not forget that.

\- Yes, I know. And don't get me wrong, I do love him greatly, and of course Mary too, and the whole family, but it's not the same. Sometimes I can't bear loneliness, being home alone. I know it sounds silly, after those years alone, but I still can't get used to it...

-Well, you know you don't have to be alone. You know that apart from your family, you still have my me. - And the doctor squeezed her hands. "Oh no," Isobel thought "It can't be happening."

\- Yes, and I very appreciate your friendship Richard, I'm really lucky to have a friend like you... - but it was too late, Richard came closer to her, more than it was comfortable for her.

\- Once you've turned me down, but my feelings are the same.- And so he kissed her, on the lips. Isobel was just too weak to protest. She wanted so much to love him, to make him happy, but she couldn't. The kiss was gentle, and she could feel how much he loved her, but it wasn't enough. She wasn't frigid (because she had loved a man passionately before - her husband, Reggie) but this time it just didn't feel right. How different was it from the kiss she shared with Edith! That kiss, that moment was perfect, beautiful like a melody, and pure like snow, it was simply heaven. But this, it was nothing, it was awkward, Richard's lips were cold and so lifeless. She broke the kiss and stood up.

\- I... I'm sorry but... I have to leave now. I'm sorry Richard. - She didn't wait for the doctor's answer. Just left his office and the hospital. She was so confused.  
But at least something was clear to her now. "I love her. I love Edith more than I can love any man and more than it's appropriate. But I love her, deeply and strongly."Yet she didn't know what to do with her newly identified feelings, but she determined to write to her. Of this she was sure. But when she arrived home, for her astonishment a little note was waiting for her. " I will arrive tomorrow. Edith. " Just this and nothing more. So she is coming, but why?   
The first thing she could think about was marriage. "Yes she must have met a handsome young man, and now they are getting married..." But she stopped her brain, she could find out tomorrow...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes: First of all thanks for delphine for all her lovely comments; all my love to you dear!**

**Secondly, sorry for the short chapter, I just need to get back into the story, but anyways... ENJOY!**

* * *

 

 _She is coming..._  
  
Isobel thought. And all of a sudden her heart was beating faster. All day long she couldn't concentrate on anything, but there was nothing worse than simply sitting and waiting. It made one feel rather stupid. _I'm such a fool. Isobel, you need to pull yourself together!_ She told herself.  
  
But there was no use of this kind of thoughts, she simply couldn't stop feeling excited. She is coming, finally... And what now? What to say? She decided to put an end to this nonsense, to finish this obsession with Edith. They could still be friends - no that's not true, she must keep her distance from the girl for a time. For her own good and for Edith's. Because after all, what one could or should expect? That maybe she will let her be a part of her life? She wasn't even sure of her own feelings...  _What do I want? What I'm seeking from this relationship? To make me feel alive again?_   
Yes was the very answer to the last question, but it seemed like there was much more than that.   
  
I certain wanting filled her soul. _Yes, I indeed want her presence, she in my life, that is what I want._ And for now it was enough, she grew tired of this kind of thoughts, and decided to take a walk.  
  
Finally, she ended up in her little garden, taking care of some of the flowers herself. She quite enjoyed being outdoors and doing the gardening, even though she wasn't very good at it. After a while, she got lost in her thoughts so deeply (now she was thinking of how a certain type of rose would make her garden more lovely) that she didn't notice that a thin figure entered her garden. Although a few seconds later she was informed about it by two elegant hands on her eyes.  
  
 _Edith!_  
  
"My dearest! How lovely to see you!"   
  
"Isobel" Edith smiled and then gave a kiss on her cheek " it's lovely to see you too!"   
  
Isobel had before decided to keep her happiness to herself about Edith's arrival, she didn't want to show Edith her fondness for her. So when they got into a house and got herself ready, she didn't sit next to Edith on the couch, instead, she chose the big armchair. They used to sit next to each other, to be nearer, to be able to hear each other clearly, so obviously, Edith noticed this little change and it made her confused. X Why is this sudden change? Has she forgotten how dear our friendship is?   
  
The tea was ready when they began their little chat.  
  
"So," Isobel started " how was your stay in London? I guess you have met a lot of interesting people there."  
  
"Well, yes, indeed one does not get easily bored in London. Also, my company was very nice." Edith answered and then quickly added " But not as nice as it could be" And then she looked deeply into Isobel's eyes. Isobel, who surely didn't want to engage in such conversation - because she needed to keep her distant - said nothing to it, and tried to change the subject.  
  
Sooner then Edith had planned before, she left Isobel's house. Her luggage was already sent to Downton but she came to Isobel first. She wanted to see her first and no one else, but it seemed like Isobel wasn't very happy about it.  
  
When Edith had left for London, their relationship had been quite deep, they were best friends or something like that. And now it was obvious that Isobel kept her distance from her. But why? Yes, why indeed? She must have done something wrong. Or their friendship was nothing more to her just something temporary? She hated that she was so affected by the older woman.  
  
*  
  
When she finally arrived Downton, she was still in kind of a bad mood, but she was happy to be at home again.  
  
"Sweetheart it's so good to see you again." Said her mother, who truly seemed to be happy to have her daughter back at home.  
  
"Did you have a pleasant journey?" Lord Grantham asked her daughter. "Yes." Was the rather short answer of Edith.  
  
"Your grandmother will come for dinner, and of course will have one of your favorite meal," Cora added, who realized Edith's not so happy mood. But only after they were alone in the room she asked her: "What's the matter?"  
  
"Just the travel made me very exhausted, and my head is aching. Please forgive if my company won't be so pleasant tonight."  
  
"Oh dear," Cora said while caressed Edith's cheeks. "I just wish your headache would disappear. We will have a great many time tomorrow to discuss your journey."   
  
The dinner was just like any other dinner with her family, most of them were happy to see her, but Mary, of course, couldn't help saying some quite rude comments.   
  
When finally she managed to bed, she couldn't wait to fall asleep. That day wasn't the way she imagined it, and she accused herself of it...


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: Still not a long chapter, but an other update is coming soon!**

**Also million thanks to delphine again, who makes my days better with her lovely comments! <3**

 

* * *

 

"So dear, we did not have much time yesterday for a chat, so tell me how was your stay in London? I hope Rosamund took a good care of you." Violet asked.

 

Edith sipped from the teacup. Somewhy she didn't quite enjoy her tea at with her grandmother.

 

"Well, it was quite nice. Rosamund was soo good to me, just like always, and I have met some new people."

 

Violet gave her a very interesting look, "Oh, I bet there you met some handsome gentlemen too."

 

"Grandma!" Edith tried to protest but then she realized there was no need for it. So instead of being quiet she decided to tell her everything, or nearly everything. "Yes there was some 'handsome gentlemen' too, and I won't lie, I did enjoy their company," she said and then quickly added, "but not in the way you might think." But there was no use of adding it, her rosy cheeks spoke louder than her words.

 

"I see," Violet simply said. "And what about a certain Lord Edwin?"

 

 _How does she know? Oh no, Rosamund. She knows very well how I hate when she does that, slipping information about me_.

 

It seemed like Violet could read in her granddaughter's mind cause she then said,"There is absolutely no need to be cross with your Aunt, she is doing what she thinks is right."

 

"You mean spying on me?"

 

"Please Edith, calm down, there is no need for that. So tell me about that young men. Rosamund says he spent very much time with you."

 

Edith breathed out loudly. "All right, what I can tell you is that he has such a good taste in arts, and also has a charming personality, he doesn't like hunting and all those sorts of things."

 

"So he is kind of a rebel?"

 

Edith rolled her eyes in response. "So are you happy now?"

 

"Oh yes, indeed, I think I have met once or twice his father..."

 

Edith didn't wait for her grandmother to finish the sentence and stood up. "I think it's time for me to leave."

 

"Thank you for your visit darling." Said Violet. _I need to find out more about this man_. She thought. "And ah, please tell Isobel that I would like her to visit me on Friday afternoon, around tee-time."

 

Edith turned back from the door, "And why would think I'll meet her anytime soon?"

 

"Oh, wouldn't you? I guessed you two can't wait to be reunited after your journey." Violet soonly realized by the expression on Edith's face that something must be wrong with the dream-team. "All right, I will write her, off you go!"

 

When Violet remained alone in her sitting room she couldn't stop thinking about Edith and Isobel. _So this is it? The end of this magnificent friendship? Seems like Edith's Lord Edwin took Isobel's old place._

 

**

 

A few days later Edith was sitting in the library, reading a book when Mary came in.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"I lost a pair of black gloves somewhere and I'm searching for it now," Mary answered "and... Oh, here they are!" She said as she grabbed the missing gloves. "And what are you doing? Why isn't Isobel here? You used to study with here at this time of the day."

 

At first, Edith didn't know what to say. Seemed like even she didn't to know the answer to this. "We are err- no longer doing our study."

 

"Ah I see, after a trip to London, you got tired of her. I love Isobel but I think it's better for you to the spend more time with people with your age."

 

Edith was astonished. For a  moment it seemed like her sister really cared about her. She decided not to say anything in response.

 

"Well I must go, Tom and I will take the children for a walk. Bye."

And then she left. But after Edith wasn't able to focus on her book. She kept thinking about what Mary said, her friendship with Isobel. After reading an other page and then don't remember what she just read, she stood up and walked to one of the big windows and looked out of it. She could see Mary and Tom with the children. They seemed to be enjoying themselves very much. _They've got quite close to each other. I wonder if there is more than a mere friendship between them. I shouldn't think such things, Matthew is not dead long enough for Mary to fall in love again._ And with this, her thoughts were drawn back to Isobel. She missed her. Without Isobel, her life wasn't the same, but she wasn't sure if she should visit the other woman. Isobel seemed to be quite happy being without her. Maybe she only used her to get distracted from her grief over Matthew.

 

She was still at the window when her mother came in.

 

"I think you should pay her a visit." Edith gave her mother a questioning look.

 

"You know who am I talking about. Cousin Isobel." Cora walked next to her daughter and out a kiss on her cheek. "Go now."

 

 _After all why not?_ Edith asked herself on her way to Isobel. _Maybe I misunderstood her. And I should give her a chance. Give a chance to our friendship. Yes, it is what I'm doing._

 

But when she entered her house and was taken to the sitting room, a quite unexpected scene welcomed her. Dr. Clarkson was sitting on Isobel's couch and the two seemed to be enjoying themselves very much. Isobel was smiling, and Edith could not miss the way the doctor was looking at Isobel. But she entered the room anyway.

 

"Edith!" Isobel stood up and greeted her.

 

The younger woman gave her a cold look. "Cousin Isobel, doctor Clarkson, I don't want to disturb your conversation. I just wanted to pay you a visit, but I see the timing is wrong."

 

"Oh please," said the doctor "I was about to leave." He walked to Isobel and take one of her hands and put a kiss on it. "Isobel thank you for the lovely company of yours." Isobel blushed a little bit, not because of the doctor's affection, but because Edith witnessed it.

 

"Richard, it was good to see you." She answered.

 

 _Blushing? And calling him Richard? Oh no, I was such a fool for coming here_.

 

"Won't you take a seat please?" And Edith sat down. Isobel who was a little distracted by Richard's hand-kiss forgot her intention to take the distance between her and Edith - sat next to the young woman on the couch. And then she realized the closeness of Edith. _She is so glorious in that green dress.Absolutely breathtaking._ And without a second thought, she said out loud, "You look rather lovely today."

 

"Oh, thank you," Edith said with a shyness in her voice, and then looked deeply into Isobel's eyes. Suddenly she felt an urge to kiss her. For a moment they were so close, their nose almost touched but then Edith stood up.

 

 _What am I doing? This is madness._  She thought.

 

"I came to ask for a certain book," she lied "I can't find it at home and I thought you might have it too." She wrote down the title of a random book on a piece of paper "But now I have to go, maybe I can drop by tomorrow? around tea time? And oh my grandma expect you on Friday for tea."

 

"Tomorrow I won't be home. Richard I mean Doctor Clarkson. I will be helping him tomorrow at the hospital..."

 

"Of course. Then maybe Thursday?"

 

"Perfect. I will walk you out."

 

"That's not necessary."

 

"I insist."

 

Edith tried to hide her frustration the whole scene but it wasn't easy. She was certain about that Isobel was in love with dr. Clarkson. But she wasn't sure why was it bothering her so much. After all, she should be grateful that Isobel found true love and someone who could make her happy.

 

They were already at the door when suddenly Edith started to speak. "I've met someone in London. We got engaged." And without waiting for Isobel's answered she left.

 

 _So that's it_. Isobel thought as she got back and collapsed in a chair. _I've lost her. Completely. And what was that scene on the couch? I already kissed her! Seems like I've lost my mind. But she was so beautiful... No wonder young men got her engaged. I would do so if I were young handsome gentlemen._  She then realized what she was thinking of and nearly slapped herself. How can such thing come into her mind? She needs distraction. How good to have Richard, he is such a good friend...

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Isobel woke up with a heavy headache. That and the events of the day before put her in a very bad mood. She eventually thought of not going to the hospital, but then she realized that it would be really childish, after all, she had promised Richard.

 

So with this thought, she got out of her big bed, where she always felt alone. Such a big bed for only one person. She would hate to admit, but sometimes she imagined that she wasn’t alone completely. She used to close her eyes and image in the darkness of the night that her late husband was sleeping next to him, but lately, she didn’t think of her husband lying next to her, she would rather think of a slender and white skinned figure with golden like hair, and beautiful big brown eyes....

 

After her usual quick breakfast, she got on her coat and picked up her umbrella, because it was raining outside. She didn’t mind it, even though most of the people hated the constant rainings in England, she found it quite peaceful and refreshing. She liked how the cold wind touched her cheeks, and the earthy smell of the rain was something she was attached too.

 

Today she decided to wore her favorite coat, a deep purple one, which matched well with her silvery brown hair and her grey eyes. Most of the time she didn’t care of her clothing – she wasn’t a young girl anyone so why? – but she certainly had an eye for style and how to match colors. Maybe it was something connecting with her passion for flowers. She always found such joy in nature. As a young girl she used to take long nice walks in in the nearby forest, and she still could remember when her mother had asked one time what she would want for her birthday and she had said that she would like to have a little fawn. Even back then she adored animals, and she found it easier to communicate with them, than with humans. People always were so complicated and hard to understand, not like animals and nature.

 

And as she realized that she was thinking of her childhood she smiled. She hadn't been thinking of this kind of things for a long time. And suddenly it made her realize how old she was, which instantly put her back in the bad mood.

 _Maybe a little work in the hospital will help, and also Richard who always makes me smile._ But these thoughts weren’t helping either, because this made her remember what happened yesterday. Maybe she should completely forget Edith. But how could she? She was the little sunshine in her deserted life… And also little George. _I should visit my little grandchild, and also Mary. I haven’t seen them in days._

 

When she arrived at the hospital, she was a little upset for not to find Richard there. She was told that he had attended to an emergency. That did not help to brighten her day up, but she decided to stay in the hospital.

 

It was already dark outside, and most of the staff had retired home when at last Richard had arrived. He was very surprised to find Isobel there, he totally forgot that she was about to visit him at the hospital today.

 

„Isobel.” He greeted her, and the woman nearly jumped in surprise. „Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” As she turned to face him he could see that Isobel – just like him – had a really tiresome day.

 

„Oh, no, I’m sorry, I was deeply in my thoughts. Where have you been today?” She asked in a kind voice.

 

And so he told her, that he had to see not one but two patients who were deadly sick.

 

„Would you like to join me for tea or a light dinner at my house?” Richard asked. Isobel seemed to hesitate, but then she said: „That would be lovely, thank you.”

 

Isobel had never been to Richards’ before, so she was a little nervous. Before Richard had shown his affection for her quite clearly, but it seemed like his offer this time was simply friendly and nothing more.

 

His house was so like as Isobel would have imagined, not a big one but surely tidy, and nice. He had a big collection of books, which he showed her after the dinner. He didn’t only own medical books, but also it included classics in English and in French. As Isobel opened a beautiful volume of Victor Hugo, Richard could help but smile.

 

„I know it’s most unexpected to find out that I’m a fan of Victor Hugo’s works, but I can assure you it’s true.”

 

„Not at all,” she replied as she continued to study the book „I find it very satisfying, I mean I don’t know many people who are reading Hugo and in it’s original.”

 

„My mother was French, didn't I mention it before?”

 

„Oh! You are full of surprises.” She simply said and put the book back into its place.

 

 

„Would you care to join me for a drink?” Richard asked suddenly.

 

„Why not?” _Really why shouldn't I? It is a lovely evening, and he makes me feel kind of good, maybe happy._

 

Isobel then sat down on the couch and looked at him. Richard seemed to be so lovely, so caring, a real friend. He made her forget all her miseries, and she had turned him down. Twice to be exact. Obviously, he would never try again, but what if he would? _Would I turn him down this time? What if it’s what I need? A companion on whom I can rely on, who would make me forget everything. Edith… She will be a wife of some handsome man in a few months. She doesn’t need me. But on the other hand._ Richard now was heading to her with two glasses. _He –_ she meant Richard _– likes me, even at my old age, he wants me._

And when Richard was about two hand her a glass, she got the two glasses out of his hands, placed them on the table, then stood up, looked deeply in his eyes, where she saw confusion and love, and then she gave him a very passionate kiss.   _If only it was her._ She thought. Richard then put his hand on the small on her back, drawing her closer, and responded to the kiss. As they parted he didn’t know what to say.

 

„Isobel... I... You…” He started but didn’t have a clue how to continue.

 

„I ought to go now, it’s getting late.” She declined to notice his struggle. „It was a very lovely evening, thank you.” And she now put a more appropriate kiss on his cheek.

 

„Yes… Thank you for coming.”

 

She then left him with his thoughts. He simply sat down on the settee and drank the liquid from the two glasses. _What a woman_. He thought. And he found himself more in love with her than ever.

 

* * *

 

**Note:**

**No, it won’t be a Richobel fic, I promise you! Just be patient, okay? Also, leave kudos and comments if you have time!**

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: Just like always, my spelling and grammar is a mess and the plot is ... meh ? But anyways, I enjoyed writing this part, things will getting more exciting from this point.;)**

**Enjoy!**

 

* * *

 

 

As the sun rosed and spread its warmth a young lady was getting herself ready for the day. Edith picked up her brush and started to brush her hair slowly.

Most of the time Anna helped her with her clothing and hair, but Edith decided to do it all by herself today. She got on a white chemise and a cream colored skirt. and did her hair in a very simple style.

She loved the sensation of her own hair under her skin and also loved when someone else was touching her wavy golden-brown hair.

As a woman or as a writer, she loved the little sensations. Like raindrops on her skin or smell of the forest.

 

She hadn't told yet anyone, but in London, she also had done some business talking about her book. Some months ago she had been told that her novel was about to being published.

 

Isobel was the only one who knew about her books- Of course, everyone knew that she was rather fond of books and literature.

 

She wanted to announce this book-writing thing when it would be already published, so she decided to keep it as a secret until then.

 

*

 

With a book under her arm, she went down for breakfast.

 

She only found Tom at the table, so she greeted him and started to put some jam on a toast when Carson came in with a letter for her, from... Lord Edwin!

 

As she saw his name she nearly jumped, but not in happiness, rather in surprise.

 

Of course, she likes him, and loved spending time with him, he was a very good man and also had a good taste in literature... But she wasn't so sure that he was the companion, she wanted to help her life with. But on the other hand she was aware of that it was time for her to get married, she wasn't very young, and sooner or later she would have to marry someone, and Edwin had a good heart and he had a title... But was it enough? It must be.

 

"Is everything alright?" Tom asked in a friendly tone.

For a moment she almost forgot where she was.

 

"Oh, yes -" she started "it's just a surprising new, one of my friends whom I met in London wants to visit me."

 

Tom smiled. "By the look on your face, I would say it's not a friend you are very fond of."

 

"No," Edith protested "it's just that I wasn't expecting him..."

 

"Him?"

 

"Yes, he is a very nice gentleman" Edith tried to control her emotions, but surely after this, her thoughts were filled with Edwin all day long.

 

*

 

Isobel didn't have a pleasant night.

After her incident, when she had kissed Richard she couldn't calm down easily. Not because the kiss had indicated a never-ending love in her for Richard but because it hadn't.

 

 _I must have gone mad. What did I think?_ She buried her face in her hands, but then she looked up and saw herself in the mirror. Not a very pleasant sight. Surely the years had marked her, and the last year was the worst of all. Seemed like she aged like 5 years instead of one. She felt so old at the moment.

 

The death of her beloved beloved husband, the war, and then Matthew's death... It was a burden she must carry, and which only be heavier as the years go on. But then out of nowhere a cam into her mind a familiar voice. The memory of her and Edith studying together, and laughing...

 

In the last few months, the younger woman's friendship was what had given her strength and unexpected joy.

 

She suddenly stood up from her chair and went into the window. She felt a desperate need to bury her head in the crook of Edith's neck and feel her embrace, and to talk to her.

 

 _Madness. How foolish. There is nothing worse than the unrequited love of the old_. She thought. _Maybe I could love Richard. But is his affection enough?_ The real question was if being in a relationship with someone you did not love was better than being alone?

 _Afterall what am I waiting for? At my age, I shouldn't expect to fall in love again_. She stated and then left her room.

 

* * *

 

 

When Edith came in Isobel was rather frustrated. She completely forgot that Edith would come by today for a book.

 

"Isobel." Edith greeted her. She didn't know why she had chosen to come. Surely Isobel didn't want nor needed her company, but something had made her feel like she must come. When she had entered the room she saw Isobel sitting in an armchair and a familiar feeling spread in her body just like every time she saw her.

 

"Oh, my dear. I -" Isobel started but Edith cut her off.

"No need to apologize, you forgot that I will come by today."

Isobel bit her bottom lip in frustration.

 

"Yes, but I'm happy to see you."

 

"Are you?" Edith sounded rather desperate. Isobel wanted to walk to her and envelope her with her arms, but instead, she said a plain "Yes".

 

For a moment they stood in an awkward silence, looking at each other. Each woman needing the other one but doing nothing about it. Edith was the first to speak.

 

"So will you please give me the book?"

 

"Yes," she answered, "it must be somewhere there...."

 

She walked into the room she kept her books, and Edith was following her in silence.

 

For a moment or two, Isobel was searching for the book and then with an "Ah!" she pointed to a black book spine on the top of the bookcase.

 

"Maybe I should get Moleyley to get it for us."

 

"Leave it to me," Edith said, picked the nearest chair and within a minute she was standing in that not a too stable chair.

 

"Take care." But at the same time, Isobel said those words Edith who lost her balance felt onto the floor with a heavy bump.

 

"Are you all right?"

 

"Yes, I guess but...ouch!" Edith tried to get up but it seemed like her right feet didn't want to help her.

 

"Oh, dear-dear..." A very worried Isobel kneeled down next to her and started to examine her feet and then stated: "Yes, I see... It must be your ankle..."

 

Laying on the floor with her feet in Isobel hands' she felt rather embarrassed.

 

"Considering the fact that it's already dark outside and you should give some rest to your ankle I would suggest you stay here for the evening."

 

Edith's eyes widened.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Of course! And you wouldn't have a better nurse at Downton, and dr. Clarkson couldn't do much more."

 

She and helped then Edith into the guestroom and handed her one of her own nightgowns. As Edith changed and got into the bed Isobel came back with some medicine and stuff.

As a skilled nurse, it took her no time to take care of a spread ankle. As she finished she looked up into the younger woman's eyes. "There. I did a call to Downton and I told them you will be back by tomorrow safe and sound. How are you feeling?"

 

"Better," Edith answered shortly. Truth to be told she nearly enjoyed this, Isobel taking care of her, touching her...

 

"Are you hungry? I can get something to eat."

 

"No thanks."

 

"Then I should leave, I expect that soon you will get sleepy." She took some steps toward the door when Edith called her.

 

"Isobel?"

 

"Yes?" She stopped.

 

"Would you stay with me? Just a little bit more. I think your company would help me get better."

 

A smile spread across the older woman's face and warmth filled her eyes.

 

"Of course I will! Maybe I should read you something... How about Kenilworth?"

 

"Sounds good, you know I adore Walter Scott."

 

"Oh, I know you do."

 

Isobel got the book and wanted to sit on a chair next to the bed when Edith spoke again.

 

"Why don't you sit on the bed next to me? It would be more comfortable for you."

 

Isobel didn't protest and after taking a comfortable position she started to read in her beautiful and calm tone that Edith loved and missed you much.

 

Maybe an hour had stopped when Isobel realized that her companion's breath became more peaceful. But it felt just so good to be next to her, that she stayed that and continued to read for the other hour. When her eyes became sore she put down the ebook and stared at Edith. She seemed so calm and so beautiful. Withing thinking she lowered herself, and lied next to her and shortly after she fell asleep.

 

In the middle of the night Edith awakened and even though she couldn't see anything in the dark, she felt oft breathing next to her and an arm around her belly. She smiled and put her own hand on Isobel's.

 

"If you only knew how much I love you." She whispered and then sank back into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Note:**

**First of all sorry for the late update! I have had this chapter written down in a journal but I didn't find time to put it on my laptop. Secondly, I'm searching for a beta-reader, so if anyone is interested in that, then please contact me! And lastly, what do you guys think; should I write more detailed about the ultimate things, like kissing, lovemaking, etc. and make it an M rated fiction or keep it as it's now, and don't really bother with writing about the intimate things?**

 

* * *

 

 

 

How can one describe only with words such things like a beautiful melody or a great master's painting? And how can one describe the feeling of waking up next to your beloved one? It is a kind of euphoria (and so much more) what we humans, can not express properly.

 

It was what Isobel felt when she had woken up the next morning. With eyes still closed, the first things she was aware of was the warm body next to her. How long had it been since she enjoyed waking next to someone! She slowly opened her eyes and found herself cuddling with Edith. Until that moment she hadn't really realized that the person she was holding close was Edith. She was still lying on her back sleeping, and her physical breathing was so peaceful. Isobel's head was resting on the place between Edith's chest and right shoulder. For a moment she allowed herself to enjoy this, her closeness, and her lovely smell - it was like a mixture of lily and rose - but she knew this madness had to stop sooner or later. It was so inappropriate, to sleep in the same bed with a young girl, and not just the act of sleep, but the fact how close they had slept, not like two innocent women. But  Edith was innocent, she knew it perfectly well. What made her filled with horrors was her own feelings; God knows she had longed for the younger woman's closeness for so long, and she adored it and wanted it to never ever end, but it was wrong. So utterly wrong, and still the warm feeling of Edith's hand on hers (because in their sleep they were holding hands) indicated a joy in her soul that she thought long-lost.

 

She sat up carefully, but as she slid her hand from Edith's, the other woman woke up. Still blurry eyed, Edith touched along silverly curl that had escaped from Isobel's bun. This simple act was so gentle and intimate that Isobel couldn' help but blush.

 

"You have such a beautiful hair." Edith said. And added in her head: _Just like everything about you, so angel-like._

 

This was too much for Isobel, just too much. How was she supposed to control her emotions when Edith was this nice with her? Then she felt a sudden need to kiss her, to express her admiration toward her, but if sleeping with Edith wasn't proper than kissing her was simply forbidden.

 

Instead, she said, with a little despair in her voice: "I should get up." She turned from Edith and put her legs to the floor.

 

"Why? It's still early." Edith didn't understand what got into the other woman. She was so happy that even if their friendship wasn't as it had been, it was certainly better now. _But why does she want to leave me now?_

 

"I know my dear, but I still have to go-"

 

Edith cut her off.

 

"Why are you keep doing this?" She simply asked.

 

"What?"

 

"Pushing me away. I thought we were friends."

 

"We are, that's not what it is...It's just..."

 

"Then stay."

 

As an answer, she got back to the bed, next to Edith. A few moments passed when finally Isobel started to speak. Her voice was a mere whisper.

 

"You know, I thought..." she unconsciously started to play with Edith's hand "I thought that _you_ were the one pushing _me_ away..."

 

"Why would I ever do that? You are," she paused for a moment "very dear to me, I dare say you are my best friend."

 

"Am I?"

 

"Yes." She turned to face Isobel for a moment and then closed her fingers around hers.

And this blissful moment was just theirs, and even though they weren't aware the fact, the had felt the same thing. Love, eternal and unconditional... But it didn't last long, they couldn't ignore the real life, not the one they wanted to live, but the one they had to.

 

Again, Isobel was the one to speak.

 

"When will you get married?" Neither of them wanted to talk about it, but they had to. Isobel needed to know, and Edith needed to speak.

 

Edith let out a deep breath and let go of the other woman's hand. "I don't know. We haven't decided it yet."

 

"But you love him." It was half a statement and half a question.

 

"I don't know. I," she hesitated "I'm not quite sure about my feelings towards him."

 

"But you do want to marry him."

 

"No, I mean yes. But it's not that simple. He is a very nice man indeed, he has a good heart and he's also good looking. And we get on well, I mean we are not madly in love, but we have the same taste in art and stuff like that... And he's from a good family. My grandma would say he is the perfect match, but... It's complicated. He'll come by the next week, so maybe we will figure things out."

 

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Isobel tried to comfort Edith " Give some time to yourself, it takes a little bit for someone to fall in love. I didn't fall in love with my late husband in the first moment I saw him. To be honest when I first saw him I didn't like him at all."

 

"You see, you always understand me so well. Maybe it's like being soulmates with someone?"

 

After just lying there in a comfortable silence, it was Edith's turn to speak.

 

"What about you and dr. Clarkson?"

 

"What about us?" Suddenly she remembered that embarrassing night when she had kissed Richard, and that made a pink color creep on her cheeks.

 

"You blushed!"

 

"No, you misunderstand me. We are-"

 

"Engaged?"

 

"God no!"

 

"Not yet, you mean? Isobel, I can see that you care about him and obviously he adores you." _But who could blame him for it?_ Edith added in her head.

 

"Well, I..."

 

"You said you didn't want to push me away, so don't. I've told you about my suitor, so now it's your turn."

 

"Well, my dear." she started "to use your words, 'it's complicated'... What I want to say is that, at my age a relationship between a woman and a man isn't like as it when you're young."

 

Edith simply gave her a questioning look. For Isobel it was so absurd to talk about Richard and her love-life with HER.

 

"All right." She took a deep breath "You know very well my state, I think there is no need to discuss it.I'm... alone. " Edith opened her mouth to protest, but Isobel didn't let her speak. "I know I have my little George, and all the whole family would help with anything, but I... I need a companion.And Richard helped a lot lately, he has always been a good friend to me."

 

There was a momentary quietness, and then Edith asked in a low voice: "Do you love him?"

 

Isobel had to think of a proper answer. This question had surprised her, but Edith was right to ask it.

 

"As I said before, it's not a matter of importance. But I like him, very much."

 

After that, neither women did speak. Edith was still lying on her back, looking at the ceiling, and Isobel was now sitting on the bed showing her back to the younger woman.

 

"I can be your companion." Edith's voice was very steady and clear, but she didn't move. _Does she know what she is speaking of?_ Isobel wondered.

 

"I really mean it."

 

"Oh darling," now Isobel turned and a single tear run down her face but her voice wasn't shaky "there are certain things a woman can't give to another. I want you to be happy and live a full and proper life." She cupped Edith's face and caressed her cheek.

 

Edith sat up, leaning into the older woman's touch, and put her hand on Isobel's.

 

"What do you mean by 'certain things'?"

 _Why does she have to act like that? It's not fair_. Isobel thought and shut her eyes. Allowing herself to enjoy the other woman's caress, and lovely words, she then opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't trust her voice.

 

"I think you know that very well. "

 

"Open your eyes." Edith tone was somehow different. And so Isobel obeyed. The two women locked eyes, and then Edith slowly got more closer and put her hands on her arms around her neck and then her lips on Isobel's. But before Isobel could have reacted, and before the kiss would have turned deeper, Edith pulled away and rested her forehead against hers. Still in this position the younger woman started to speak. "You surely didn't mean this, because as a friend of yours it's most natural."

 

Isobel's confusion was growing larger and larger. She needed to escape. She gently put Edith's hands from her and started to get out of bed. "I really need to change and get a little bit refreshed, but I'll be back."

 

Just when her hand was on the doorknob did she realized that she had forgotten something.

 

"Oh! How is your ankle?"

 

"I don't have much pain."

 

"Good." She smiled and then left Edith.

 

When she finally was in her own bedroom, she collapsed on the chair front of her vanity. _My goodness!_ She muttered as she saw her reflection in her mirror. Her clothes were wrinkled and obviously they looked like as if someone had slept in them, and her hair was loose, very shabby. _And she kissed me, with my ugly look. Has she lost her mind? No, I've lost my mind. I need calm down._ She touched her lips, remembering the sweet feeling of the other woman's lips on hers. She loathed herself for thinking such things, but she wished it had been longer, and deeper. _Pull yourself together woman!_ She knew she had to be quick and she mustn't show Edith how she felt about her. She would be disgusted, she was sure about that.

 

Within 20 minutes, she was back with fresh clothes on and a more acceptable hairstyle.

 

"Are you finished?"

 

"Nearly," Edith answered "you could help me with my hair while I'm getting my stockings on. I mean if you want."

 

Isobel walked toward her and started to do her hair a very simple but lovely way. It was a really hard task not to touch Edith's neck or put a soft kiss on her hair while she did it, but somehow she managed and finished doing her hair.

 

"Oh, I like it very much!" She looked at herself in the mirror. "You should help me with my hair more often."

 

"Glad you like it." Isobel smiled back. "And now shall we have some breakfast? I bet you are hungry by now."

 

"Yes, that sounds lovely."


	11. Chapter 11

After their time together, which both of the two women considered as one of their happiest memories, they did not get time to spend together again. Lord Edwin's arrived at Downton and it seemed like Edith couldn't leave his side for long periods. Through the first two weeks after the young man's arrival, Isobel barely even heard anything from her friend. Well, she's got 2 letters, the first one informed her about Lord Edwin's arrival and contained an apology in case they wouldn't be able to see each other for a time and the second one. It was more intimate, Edith wrote a long letter, expressing how much she loathes this situation and that she couldn't wait to reunite with her _friend_.

 

It should not have bothered her, but Isobel was furious, not because Edith did not visit her, no it was most natural, after all, it was her fiancé, but because of how terribly she missed her. She'd only got her back and now she's gone again... But she must get used to that, Edith is a young lady and it's what young people supposed to do, living their own lives.

 

One afternoon, after spending her time with reading again ( _Oh how much Edith would enjoy this book!_ ) she decided to pay a little visit to Violet. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to go there unannounced, but she was sure that Violet would be happy to see her.

 

But she was wrong. Well, Violet was glad to see her friend, and have to some time with her, but the outcome of the visit was rather unpleasant for Isobel.

 

They'd just started sipping their tea, and wasn't yet in a deep conversation when Violet brought up Edith and her wedding that was coming.

 

"I'm rather happy to see my beloved granddaughter finally finding happiness, and with an indeed handsome and well-situated man." As she said these words, Isobel tried not to look at her, and instead kept her eyes focused on her tea. "Don't you agree Isobel dear?"

 

"Yes, yes, indeed. I'm happy for her." She tried the smile, but it wasn't very convincing. She wanted to get over it, and she had hoped that maybe a good chat with Violet would help her get off her mind of Edith, but so far it was doing quite the opposite.

 

"Listen," then Violet said in a tone Isobel had known and made her being afraid what was coming "I know that you are quite attached to Edith."

 

 _Oh. Does she know?_ Isobel wondered and blushed a little.

 

"I don't know what do you seek from her," Violet continued "but if you love her, really love her, then you will acknowledge that you should let her go. I don't know if it's Matthew you want to replace her with or something _else_ , but she needs to  get married, have a proper family."

 

"Violet please -- "

 

"No, Isobel, I like you and that's why I'm telling you now this. If you don't let her go now, she will leave you later, and that would be more painful, believe me."

 

From this point it was pretty hard for Isobel to hold herself together, and don't cry front of Violet, telling her everything... That she was feeling alive again, and how much joy Edith had brought her and how she hates herself for wanting her... Dreaming of her kissing her as lovers do...

 

*

 

Feeling depressed, and wanting nothing but a hot bath and solitude she was being welcomed home with a letter. A letter from Edith.

 

 

_Dearest Isobel,_

_I hope it's not too late for that, but would you give us the pleasure to have dinner at Downton? I would love to introduce you to Edwin._

_Please come,_

_Edith_

 

 

After reading this, Isobel simply threw it to the floor. _Why do I have to do this? Seeing her laughing with him..._

 

But nonetheless, she went to Downton for dinner. At the entrance, she, unfortunately, met with Violet. It was more than embarrassing to meet her after the conversation they'd had earlier.

 

"Why didn't you tell me you would come tonight?" Asked the older woman, but her tone wasn't unfriendly at all.

 

"I've just got my invitation when I returned home," Isobel said, and she didn't want to share the information that Edith was the one inviting her...

 

The start of the evening was surprisingly nice, and even Isobel was able to relax and enjoy herself. Apart from the family, and Edith's fianceé there was an elderly gentleman, who said to be one of Robert's old friend with his wife and two children. But even though she was engaged in some various conversation with various people, the one she paid to most attention was Edith. To her surprise the young lady talked with her more than to Edwin, she even touched her sometimes accidentally, and when it was to start the dinner, she grabbed Isabel and guided her to sit on her right.

 

But Edith's little touches weren't at all accidentally, no, Edith was so happy to have a friend with her after weeks of separation and she wanted to show her admiration somehow. And now that she had a fianceé no one could accuse of her anything, so she decided that she would enjoy Isobel's companionship as much as she could, no matter what. And she did so. And didn't even realize how her beloved grandmother was looking at her. Oh yes, Violet was most furious, and didn't understand why Isobel take her advice.

 

Nevertheless, the dinner was also quite enjoyable, and when Edith placed a hand on her thigh, under the table, she did know it was wrong but didn't move it away, instead put her hand on hers and caressed it. She hoped no one noticed it.

 

The evening ended very late in the night, Robert's friends have left, and Core suggested for both her and Violet to stay and Isobel choose to do so.

 

When she was about to get into bed, she heard a soft knock on her door, and to her surprise it was Edith.

 

"Would you please go on an early walk around Downton? There is something I would like to discuss."

 

"Yes, of course."

 

*

 

The next morning, they met at the staircase at 7 and after a little coffee and toast, they were off to there walk.

 

They have been walking for nearly half an hour and still, no one has said anything at all. But it seemed to be natural. With Edith, quietness wasn't embarrassing.

 

When they have reached a rather big and old tree Edith stopped. She seemed to be thinking very hard about something.

 

"Isobel, as I said I want to talk about an important matter."

 

Isobel looked at her with curiosity. Edith moved closer. Dangerously close.

 

"I want to know what do you feel when I do this" she placed a hand on her cheeks, caressing the soft skin "or this," she put a small kiss on her jaw. Isobel didn't dare to move or to speak. But she should, she shouldn't let this happen.

"But most importantly," the brown-eyed girl continued in a lightly seductive voice "I want to know if you feel the same as me when we do this," she then leaned closer and put her mouth on hers, and Isobel couldn't do anything, but respond to the kiss. "Divine, like drinking a sweet wine and then soft like a petal of  a rose, heavenly like the touch of sunlight on your skin --."

 

"Edith..." Isobel whispered. "I... We should... And -- " Her speaking was incoherent, she wasn't sure what she should say now.

 

"I love you," Edith confessed, and Isobel's heart raced so fast that she feared she would faint.

 

"No, you don't. Edith please, we should go back, the others are must be wondering where are we... And Edwin..."

 

"Say that you don't love me and I will stop it."

 

She leaned closer again, her breast lightly pressed against Isobel's and Isobel knew she was lost, there is no way she could manage to get out of this. She responded eagerly to Edith's kisses, and she was about to put a hand on her wait when somehow she managed to break the kiss and say: "I don't love you." Edith froze. "I don't love you. I'm sorry."

 

"No, I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood the signs."

 

And then, they went back to in silence. But it was an awkward silence, both women thinking about how they'd just ruined their friendship, and both thinking about how madly they are in love with the other, and how wrong it is.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

When they arrived back, Edith greeted Edwin like nothing had happened, like she just had a nice walk with a friend and didn't confess her love for a woman. An older woman.

 Isobel couldn't help but wonder if this thing Edith felt for her was just an impulse of the moment. But she was sure about one thing; that she had made the right choice. As she was watching the still sleepy Edwin smiling at Edith she was sure that it was the right thing to do, for Edith and for herself. Only that it wasn't.

 

Soon she left Downton, thanks for the nice evening, and she wanted to say something to Edith, anything really, but she just couldn't. What can one say after what had happened?

 

Now she was at home changing her clothes. In the afternoon she will meet with Richard. Yes, it was another thing she had to get over. An inevitable conversation with Richard. Telling him that she'd had too much champagne that night, and wasn't thinking and . . . _How embarrassing._ Now it was clear to her that she had nothing to do with the man. The thing she'd said to Edith about needing a companion was still true, but now it was clear to her that there is no one she could have as a companion. Because her heart was Edith's and it wouldn't be fair to Richard to marry him while she knew she couldn't love him.

 

*

 

She took a last glance of herself in the mirror, and with a sight, she turned and left the room. She didn't want to look too nice today. And truth to be told, she looked rather tired. After her conversation with Edith in the morning, a war was taking place in her heart. She was rather glad she could make it and say the words she had said to the younger woman but on the other hand, she was feeling . . . Depressed? Well, she couldn't really describe with only one word what she was feeling. When Edith'd declared her love for her she felt like she would faint and happiness will tear her apart, but when she had refused her, she'd felt a sudden pain spreading in her whole body. And when Edith's face went rigid with her words, she felt that she would rather do anything but this.

 

So with pain and joy simultaneously changing in her heart she'd left. To Richard's cottage.

 

He welcomed her like he would welcome any other visitors.

They sat in the drawing room, with a drink in a hand, Isobel was waiting for the perfect moment to start her monologue about their relationship and how important Richard is to her when the doctor stood up and started pacing, not looking at her.

 

After a few seconds he stopped, opened his mouth but closed it.

 

"I -- " Isobel started, but at the same moment Richard started to speak too, so they laughed and the thick tension between them seemed to fade a little.

 

"Isobel, I'm in love."

 

The named women blushed, her cheeks were like the color of the roses in the cup.

 

Just before she started to say _Richard I don't love you."_ he continued his speech.

 

"I have met a woman, and I want to ask her to marry me someday."

 

"That's wonderful news!" Without a second thought, she stood up and gave her friend a rather friendly hug. The man was totally confused.

 

"Then you are not . . .?"

 

She took a step back, pulling her hands to her side. "No! Not at all. You see, I'm also in love with someone" she was so mad at herself that she slipped out it, but then she continued "and I think my emotions on that evening were rather mixed and I wasn't in control. Hope you can forgive my boldness."

 

"Actually, that kiss made me really how much I'm in love with Clarissa. . . So I should say thank you for it. And of course, I want to introduce you to her. And I would be honored if you could introduce me to your man."

 

Isobel's response was only a bitting on her lower lip. Surely it wasn't the place nor time to talk about her love life.

 

"I think I shall leave now, I only planned to drop by to get things clear."

 

"You can stay if you want . . ."

 

"I know, but it's better for both of us. So goodbye Richard, we shall meet soon. And I'm very happy, very indeed, that you have found someone." They both smiled and without any further ado, she left the house to get home.

 

That hot bath was really needed now.

 

*

 

Hot water running and filling the overly large tube. Gentle light filling the light brown colored bathroom. The smell of roses and honey combining in the air. And solitude. The long longed solitude.

 

After getting rid all of her clothes she let her aching body sink into the nice warm water. The feeling of the hot fluid on her skin was divine and she closed her eyes to appreciate the moment. Such a great pleasure. This is precisely what she needed.

 

After a minute or two, or twelve (really who knows) some broken lines of a poem starts to ring in her head. She tried to get rid of the urge to get out of the tube immediately and search for the author and the whole verse.

 

But it wasn't a coincidence that certain piece of verse came into her mind that day, and deep down in her heart she knew it but didn't want to acknowledge it. Not yet.

 

By the time she got into bed, after reading for an hour, it seemed like she forgot it, but as soon as she closed her eyes, to sink into a sleep the lines again started to play in her head. Only this time she could remember more of it.

 

 

 

 

_"As love then is the power_

_that none can disobey,_

_so too my thoughts must follow_

_my darling far away:_

_the sparkle of her laughter_

_would give me greater joy_

_than all the bronze-clad heroes ."_

 

She got up and walked to her big mahogany desk. And then, in the middle of the night, she started to write and write. . .

 

By the time she looked at her clock, it was past 2 in the morning. She was cold,and her eyes were sore. Before her, in the table, there was a bunch of papers full of her handwriting. She gathered them, and put a lace on them, and then wrote in the back with red ink: "To Edith Crawley" and the date, and left it on the table.

 

On those papers, was the confession of her love. She knew Edith could never read those words, but she felt that she just wrote down her feelings, she must confess her love, even if only to some papers. And she did. And when she finally got back to bed, she fell asleep with a smile on her face, and with the imagination of Edith's body next to hers. Maybe their relationship would never be more than friendship, and maybe she would not see her again very soon, maybe Edith will be a wife and will bear a man's child, but still, Isobel's heart would be forever hers. She is the one who had brought back her to life, has shown her that there is still beauty and joy out there, and therefore, Isabel's heart is hers, as a reward or as a gift, even if she didn't know it.

 _I will never forget her, and will never deny the fact that she is most precious to me, but I need some air, I need some space._ She thought. _I need to have a break, I need to travel..._ And it was the last thought of her that night.

 

*

 

As the next day come, Isobel's mind was full of places she would or could go. She considered many places, and then she remembered that a cousin of hers had invited her to Scotland. The letter had came weeks ago, but maybe her beloved cousin will still welcome her. _Yes, it's a perfect idea!_ And with that, she sat down and wrote a letter to her cousin about her coming.

 

Two days later she was ready for the journey, she'd planned her travel, and her package was ready as well. The only thing needed to be done was to say farewell to her family in Downton, she wanted to see little George before leaving. And maybe Edith too. Yes, definitely, she wanted to see her face again, for last time, before they part for a long period. But when she arrived at Downton and didn't see Edith nor Edwin with the others she felt a sudden pain. Mary seemed to suspect her thoughts.

 

"They have left yesterday. Well, it was time for Edith to visit Edwin's parents."

 

She acknowledged the fact, and she knew that it was predictable. But still, she was upset that Edith didn't say a word about that. Anyways, she left soon. Left for a long journey, with the hope that she would soonly bury her feelings, and find new things to focus on.

 

Precisely at the time she arrived at Stirling (her cousin Vanessa lived there), and she walked in the door, Edith far-far was gently pulled back into a bed by strong arms, Edwin's arms. And when Edith hut her eyes, Isobel felt as sudden breeze going through her whole body but didn't know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote is from "A Hymn To Venus" by Sappho.   
> You can read the full poem here: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-hymn-to-venus/


	13. Chapter 13

Stirling. A beautiful town, with so many people in it and so many places to see. Isobel knew she should have been happy here because it was absolutely gorgeous and her cousin was so kind to her but she simply didn't feel good. Every time she was left alone with her own thoughts she found herself thinking about one subject. Edith and her wedding. She knew it was inevitable, that they will get married, and they will live together and they will have children, and she will have to watch it. And be happy about it. Because it was the right thing. And she also must go on with her life, and she will.

 

*

Nearly two weeks had passed when one day Vanessa came in with the letters as usual, and there was one she was afraid to open. It was from Violet. And somehow she got a feeling that it wasn't an ordinary letter asking about her trip. Violet wasn't the type. If she was writing, then she got something important to tell or to ask. And she felt that she wasn't ready for that.

"Won't you open that letter?" Her cousin, vanessa asked, while reading one of hers, not even looking up. Isobel tried to smile a little bit, and hide her emotions. She didn’t really want to talk about her fellings with anyone. "No, I will later. Now I feel like to have a nice walk around the town. Today the sun is so warm, it would be lovely to be in the nature."

 

"Alright darling," Vanessa answered, "do you want me to accompany you?"

 

"No, I will be just fine alone." She turned to leave the room, but when she walked by her cousin, Vanessa stopped her with gently grabbing her hand.

 

"Isobel?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I feel like there is something that worries you -" Isobel tried to protest but Vanessa didn't let her. "No, I can see it. I just don't know why are you not talking to me. I know it's been long since we have seen each other, but we used to be so close to one another, and I thought we have a special bond."

 

"And we still have it." Isobel tried.

 

"You know when were little kids, and even later I felt like you were my sibling, like a real sister. And I'm sorry about that... I left… " And then she let go of Isobel's hand, but Isobel didn't let her push her away.

 

"No. You don't have to be sorry, it's life, and things happen. But I want you to know that I really appreciate what you just said, and I also think of you as a sister." Isobel took in a deep breath. "It's  about Matthew. I know it's been a time since he died and I should be moving on but-but I don't know how. I thought I knew, but when I started to feel better and moving on..." She stopped for a moment, searching for words. "Well, I feel like it's still the same. And I just need to get my life together."

 

"Oh dear, I know it's hard. I felt like the world was ending when my youngest, William died, but the others were there, and I wasn't alone. And neither you are. I'm here for you, and your new family back at Downton Abbey, and your little grandson, George. Think of that." She then squeezed Isobel's hand.

 

"I think you are right, Vanessa."

 

"You know where to find me if you want to talk."

 

"Yes, and thank you, Nessa, really. But I think I will have that walk now if you don't mind."

 

"Not at all, just be back by lunch."

 

*

 

Isobel lost track in time as she started her little journey. Somehow she ended up at at the ending of the town, next to the nearest forest. She knew she should have turned back, to be back at lunch as she had promised but the forest seemed so inviting, and she hadn't really had the chance to for a nice walk in the woods since. Since when exactly? She didn't even know. _Oh how I loved taking those walks in the woods back in time, and how my mother hated it._ She didn't hesitate to follow the path that was going on in the forest.

She somehow felt calm, or not exactly but she decided not to think, not now anyway, she just wanted to focus on her surroundings and the feelings she got. Since she left Vanessa, she felt simply confused. She mentioned Matthew's death just to talk about something to hide what really had bothered her, but then when she was alone walking in the streets she realized that she still was upset about Matthew.No, not just upset, she was still mourning. And it broke her heart that when she had been with Edith, she had nearly forgotten about Matthew, she had felt better then. And just now she realized how wrong it was, she should be mourning Matthew all her life, and she should had let go of Edith earlier. _What kind of mother am I?_ She asked herself.  _How could I forget about him, how could I care about someone more than his death, and how could  let myself so lost in a girl? But from now on I will not let anything gets me distracted from my mourning. I shall never be happy because he is not there anymore. Edith made me feel better, and I was so scared how to move without her, that I didn't realize that I shouldn't even feel happy. Not anymore. I'm an old woman, a widow, someone who lost her one and only child, Happiness is not options, because with that I would betray Matthew._

But then she got distracted. The beauty of nature, the exquisite feeling of being alone there, hearing the sounds of different animals, and as the wind was touching and moving the leaves of trees. And also the way little rays of sunshine get to the ground, making the grass covered with a golden blanket. Or so it seemed like. Isobel got a sudden desire just to sit down there and get herself lost in there. Oh how she envied the poets there, how she wished she could catch the moment with the words of humans. But she was no poet or artist. She just felt with her heart and saw with her eyes, but she was sure she would carry that scene within her soul. At that moment she forgot about everything, her previous thoughts about Matthew, and Edith, or Downton. It was simply her and mother nature. And it was beautiful.

 

When she got back home to Vanessa,  it was past lunch and her cousin was mad at her, saying that she was worried but then Isobel realized that they had company. Vanessa's oldest son came with his family, paying a visit to his mother.

 

"Alexander," Isobel welcomed him "it's good to see you! I don't remember the last time we met!" She kissed his cheek.

 

"I think it was before my boys have born," the man gave her a smile. "It's Hugo my oldest", he patted ont he head a brown haired boy who seemed to be shy "and here is Walter and she surely remembers my beautiful wife, Adele." There came in a quite his wife with Walter in her hands."

 

"Oh yes, Of course, I remember a lovely woman like your wife, Alexander!"

 

After this little episode, they all got into the drawing room for a tea, and then spent the whole afternoon together, talking about old memories, and family members.  It was nearly eleven when Isobel got back to her room. And then reality hit her. The earlier letter from Violet was on her desk. She sat down and started to read.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know it’s been a long time, and this chapter is not so long and nothing really happens, but I just needed this to get back at the story. But from now on things will speed up! Also sorry for the grammar, spelling and any other mistakes!


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